On Aging and Finding Your Inner Nerd

“Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” – Betty Friedan

VOL. 1 ... No. 28. August 13, 2023

Happy Hump Day My Humping Friends!

I’m rolling a small dung ball up the hill today, and I hope your balls are equally small.

In an effort to keep you informed on the significant topics and news, I’m happy to announce that TODAY IS FIND YOUR INNER NERD DAY!!! That’s right. You read it here first.

Apparently, individuals can create their own holidays now. According to the website, National Today, Beth Ziesenis (Beth Z) has established this day in honor of those of us taking harrowing deep dives down the rabbit hole of internet technology. Beth’s expertise is in apps and social media — she claims she can unlock your inner nerd and help you understand the gazillion apps you need in order to make your business work. As one of the developers and managers for my family business, I need to work on my technical . . . that sound you just heard was my head falling forward onto my desk.

I’ve only recently stumbled across Beth Z, so I can’t testify for sure that she knows her stuff, but I will say she’s a proud nerd and looks to be informative and entertaining. You can find her at Your Nerdy Best Friend.

I actually found my inner nerd. She’s had too much coffee this morning.

I’ve been thinking a lot about aging and the stereotypes surrounding older people. I have no doubt that biases against older people exist and can endanger and limit our lives. But, I wonder if the bigger problem is our internalized ageism? How many times a week do I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think, “Wonder if I can do something about that?”

Our “self-talk” matters. When you forget a name, lose something, or can’t find the right word, do you go immediately into, “I’m having a senior moment?” Do you sometimes take it to the next level, and spiral into fear of oncoming dementia?

What if our beliefs about aging are more detrimental than most age-related health issues themselves? In her book, Breaking the Age Code, Dr. Becca Levy, Professor of Epidemiology at the Yale School of Public Health and Professor of Psychology at Yale University, explains that “Age beliefs are mental maps of how we expect older people to behave based on age.”

In other words, we see what we are expecting to see.

A perfect example of this came up in my life yesterday. I was talking on the phone with an auto insurance rep. He asked my date of birth. I told him, and he said, with a shocked tone in his voice, “Wow. You sound much younger.”

He also asked me if I was “comfortable” using a smart phone with an app. He telegraphed his cultural stereotypes of old people and my mind took it from there: sedentary, tired, out of touch, fragile, rigid, unwilling to learn anything new, lonely, confused, unfashionable, incompetent, and certainly not sexual or sexy.

Few of these words actually apply to any older person I know.

Dr. Levy says her research “demonstrates that many health problems formerly considered to be entirely due to the aging process, such as memory loss, hearing decline, and cardiovascular events, are instead influenced by the negative age beliefs that dominate in the US and many other countries.”

According to Dr. Levy, in countries like Japan, where age is revered, older people live longer, fuller lives and see old age as “something to enjoy, a fact of being alive, rather than something to fear or resent.”

Who was it that said “Old trees aren’t as beautiful as young ones?”

Nobody. Ever.

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

I applaud the “body acceptance” movement that is happening with younger people today. I say we follow their lead. We should not only accept our beautiful bodies and faces as they are, but also love them, appreciate them, and not conform to some stereotypical behavior because we’ve bought into a flawed concept of how aging is supposed to look or feel.

Express yourself. Surprise yourself. Surprise the people around you. It doesn’t take much to have an impact. I rattled that insurance rep’s perception of what an old person is capable of simply by the strength and confidence in my voice.

No matter what age you are, other people will put you in a box based on stereotypes.

Doesn’t mean you have take up residence there.

Until next time . . .

Love Yourself, and Love Who You Love.

It’s all the same thing.

Janna

“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” – Eleanor Roosevelt